The truth is, you’re asking the wrong goddamn question. So I’ve learned how to recognize when someone is receptive to being kissed and how.
Now personally, I’m not a fan of all the nervous anticipation that comes with the end of a date, so I’ll usually kiss her to really work up my calibration.
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Even if it was in the middle of a crowded bar and some ugly sweaty dude was flirting with your date five minutes before you made your move – it will of your little slip. Nerd Love Facebook page and Twitter feed and it was almost a 2-to-1 case of “Make the move”, followed by a variation of “It depends/fine either way/I like them both”.
Quit worrying trying to recreate a scene from a movie and just be in the goddamned moment. This corresponds rather well with other places where I’ve seen the topic come up (Google “Ask for a kiss” and do your own research): a majority of an incredibly unscientific sampling of women seem to prefer that men make the move rather than ask for it.
My thoughts: it’s generally better to know when she’s interested in being kissed and take the initiative. It’s another if, say, she’s pressing her thigh up against yours while you’re sitting together, or if she’s touching you and letting her hand stay. A touch on the upper arm is considerably less intimate than one on the forearm, and which is less than touching your hand.
If you’re on the socially awkward side or are bad at reading social cues, it may be better to ask. If you hug her, are you getting the A-Frame hug – all upper body leaning in – or the full body? If she’s interested in being kissed, she’s going to be calling attention to her mouth.
Now let’s be clear: this is obviously not representative of all women. Is she staying close to you, even hugging your arm and snuggled up to you as you’re walking together?
But it tie into a topic that I’ve mentioned before: some people actively dislike verbal sexual (or relationship, for that matter) communication. Is she making a point to close the gap between “personal space” (approximately 2 to 4 feet) to “intimate space” (around 18 inches or so)? It’s one thing if it’s an occasional touch on the arm.A general, all-purpose method that I endorse is the hug-to-kiss: at an appropriate emotional high-point – she’s made a joke, one of you just bowled a strike, you just finished dancing to an awesome song, something – pull her in for a hug.Pause, look her in the eyes for a second – watch for the triangle gaze! By the by: I always advocate moving slowly for the first kiss.First, there are few things sexier than anticipation and the build-up to a first kiss is positively delicious.Secondly, it gives her plenty of time to respond; if she doesn’t want you to kiss her she’s got ample time to give you the cheek or to wave you off.You’re leaning in, pulling back afraid that it’s the wrong moment, trying moment, and the more you dick around trying to figure out when and where, the more time you’re wasting that could be better spent on sloppy make-outs. It’s a fun quirk of the human brain: we’re really good at retconning events to fit how we want them to be.